SWINGING

"For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.He will rejoice over you with joyful songs."

Zephaniah 3:17 NLT






Eight months ago our little "Brave Heart" could not even sit on this tire swing without panic overtaking him.  No amount of reasoning or reassuring would calm his fear.  Any pictures we have of him in those early days home show someone else either holding him or the swing still. In many areas he appeared to be the more fearless of the two but not when it came to this.  He didn't like it, it was what he feared the most ....plain and simple.

This morning we were outside enjoying the sunshine and he ran to me, asking to be pushed.  As he soared, again and again, into the air,  his laughter and giggles were contagious.  He begged to go higher and higher, more and more...

It's moments like this when God most often speaks to me.  I see myself in my children.  I sense His parental love for me in my spirit and I am encouraged...

While I am not yet at liberty to share all the particulars of our situation, I am able to share the journey of my own heart and I pray that those details will be sufficient to be a blessing for any of you reading.  While each of our story lines is unique...God's Truth covers all.

It is true that much of what we fear in life never really happens, it is also true that some of it does.  That is not meant as a negative statement...it just is.  If you would have asked me 5 years ago what my greatest fear would have been, this would have been it.  The same could be said of my man.  Each of us is smack dab, right in the middle of what we feared the most. 

 We didn't asks for it.
 We prayed that it would never happen.
 We hoped it would fall in the category of things that never really come to pass.

But it didn't...and we are here.  

We battle the fear.
We battle the shame.
We question the reasons.
We battle loneliness and discouragement.
It feels unfair.

But God ordained it...and we are here.

It would be easier to write this as an "after the fact" post.  A remembering of how God intervened and provided "back then"...when the puzzle was complete.  But it is not. 

We have been earnestly seeking His heart on the matter, but He has not yet given clear direction.
When we look at our timeline it appears to be running out.
Panic can easily sweep in.

But we are learning to swing. 
Our knuckles may be white from the gripping but we are at least taking breaths.
With each push, my Father's heart speaks reassurance that, somehow, all will be well.

This view from the heights is different.
The perspective... freeing.

We are learning to giggle... even in the moments when our stomachs drop from the falling.
When hopes are dashed.
When dreams are not yet birthed.

His promises are getting more firmly stamped in our minds as we repeat them with each repetitive motion.
And somehow the process is shifting the truths from our heads to our hearts.

When we submit to His loving, our fears are calmed.
The fear is replaced with an enjoyment of the ride.

Off in the distance I hear singing.
Like a canopy over me.
A joyful song, unlike any other.

A reminder today that, somehow, this journey gives Him reason to be joyful.  I can be thankful for that....